Ohhh… where do I begin. I love my nan, when I was growing up in Colorado - some of my fondest memories were of her kind smile and warm, positive nature. My Gran always held me in such high regard, showering me with praise when I had done well, compassion when I was low and bucketloads of love in between.
My whole life; I have always tried to share and uphold my Nanna's values, and most importantly, make her proud. It's been just the two of us for a long time now, but that's a story for another time. This story begins with an impulse buy from KittyTats.
Now, you must understand that I come from an ultra-conservative family background where tattoos are particularly frowned upon, trying to pose a logical or emotional argument about such things is like talking to an elephant's behind. My Gran (bless her) regarded tattoos as a form of self-mutilation, and I guess that viewpoint permeated my family, and our family friends, I don't even have my ears pierced!
So the day comes, my tattoos arrive, and I'm excited to check them out! Woo!! I snatched the packet of three full-length arm tattoos I'd ordered and slipped away into my bedroom. Meanwhile, my Gran, who was visiting for a few days, was busily preparing one of her wonderous apple and cinnamon pies. "10 minutes angel!" I heard her call from the kitchen, "thanks Gran, I'll be down in a minute" I replied, shutting the bathroom door behind me.
Despite the shining light of innocence my Gran believes me to be, I ain't no angel, and like most girls, I have a cheeky side. Little did I know at the time that this innocent prank would cause such chaos...
I slapped on my KittyTat with the aid of a wet towel I'd prepared earlier, carefully peeling back the now thoroughly damp backing paper - I was thrilled to see my fully-tatted arm come to life! A quick wave of the hairdryer and a light dusting of foundation and BAM! instant, real-looking tattoo! Resplendent with deathly skulls and crying angels set amongst a hellish moonscape... awesome.
At that point a waft of sweet-smelling apple pie entered the room, a signal that my Gran was in the final stages of creating another baked masterpiece, and a nod that I'd shortly be expected downstairs to appreciate her efforts.
Feeling frisky with my new badass sleeve; I dropped my dressing gown and snapped a cheeky selfie, shooting it off to my boyfriend Grant. I knew he'd freak, as me getting a tat is about as likely as the Queen of England pole dancing, it was going to blow his mind 😉
Etched in my memory forever is what happened next… at that moment my Gran called from downstairs "ready dearest", followed shortly by a muttering: "ooh, what this then... ". Pulling my dressing gown back on; I glanced down to see if my bf had responded… my heart sank. A chill shot from the back of my neck and down my spine, I froze.
Then, a noise… a noise I can only describe as a small animal being slowly trodden on, floated up the stairs and burrowed into my brain.
My excited texting had neglected to notice that I had sent my sultry, tattooed and sinful text to my dear, innocent “Gran”, not “Grant”!
I scurried downstairs to the sweet cinnamon-scented kitchen, still hoping for the best. Tragically, I was presented with the most disturbing scene – my dearest Gran, bent over clutching her chest! She looked up with an expression I had never seen before and never wish to see again, a tangled, strained, contorted look of pain, disappointment, confusion and panic, all rolled into one. My precious Nan, what had I done!!
“Granny!” I remember screaming.
Gasping for air and straining to speak, she struggled to raise a gleaming kitchen knife into the air… ‘”b, b, big slice or a… a small one dear” she mumbled, before promptly slumping into my arms.
I, the darling granddaughter, had just destroyed her vision of me as an innocent angel, torn apart in an instant by a steamy, tattoo filled text!
Fade to black with my Gran limp in my arms and me screaming “It’s not real Granny, it’s not reeeeaal!”… FML
A day later, and my Gran is fine everyone, she’s back home and we’re enjoying a chuckle over a reheated apple and cinnamon pie. Turns out her ticker is in excellent shape, the doc attributed her 'episode' to something of a panic attack.
She rather likes my KittyTat now, and we’re going to try one on her later for lols.
KittyTats are high-quality temporary tattoos that last for days, not forever. Follow our application guide for a realistic finish when applying your KittyTat. Safely experiment with tattoo locations, sizes and designs with KittyTats temporary tattoos, what reaction will you get??
For a short time, we’re offering a ‘buy two and get your third free’ on all full-length arm tattoos, check them out! Post you and your KittyTat on Instagram for a FREE arm tattoo shipped to your door!
Article inspired by customer emails and is a work of fiction. Name, characters, places, events, locales and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.